Why Do People with BPD Have Trouble Accepting Emotions?

There are a few reasons why people with BPD, in particular, have trouble accepting emotions (although, it is important to note that everyone has trouble accepting emotions sometimes).

First, people with BPD were often raised in emotionally invalidating environments. These are environments where feelings are not accepted. Sometimes people with BPD were punished for expressing feelings, or sometimes they were told that they were weak for having feelings. This can lead a person with BPD to have trouble accepting their own emotions in adult life.

Second, people with BPD experience very intense emotions, and this intensity makes it harder to accept them. People with BPD will often describe feeling that they are afraid their emotions will “overwhelm” or “destroy” them. As a result, many people with BPD feel very afraid of their emotions and are convinced that they cannot tolerate their feelings.

Why Accepting Emotions Is Helpful

Why is accepting emotions helpful? What is the point of trying to accept your emotions, and wouldn’t it be easier to just get rid of them? Well, no, it isn’t easy to get rid of emotions. In fact, most people with BPD have tried to get rid of their emotions with little success. What they have learned (and what research supports) is that it is very difficult, if not impossible, for us to just get rid of an emotion.

We have emotions for a reason, so you shouldn't want to get rid of them completely. Emotions are part of a complex system that helps us decide what we should stay away from and what we should approach. Emotions also help us keep lasting relationships with other people. Without emotions, we would make terrible decisions all the time! Therefore, accepting emotions is helpful, because when we listen to our emotions, we can actually learn important information.