The Bully

Bullies spend their school lives thinking of cruel jokes to play on the weaker students. Some of their favourites include: Toilet Flushing: this consists of putting the victim’s head down the toilet and pulling the chain.

The Strip: this involves strippingthe victim and inviting other pupils to come and laugh.

Wedgies: this consists of lifting the victim up, putting the victim’s pantsover a coat-hookand leaving them in a most embarrassing position.

Book Stealing: this involves stealing books and throwing them in a puddle,making them wet and dirty.

Tax collection: this consists of inviting the victim to make a “voluntary” donation of one pound a day to the bully.

When they’re older, bullies want to be soldiers, police officers or school P.E.teachers.

The Know-It-AII

The know-it-all spends class time thinking of questions to ask the teacher. They are the ones who always put their hands up first when the teacher asks a question – even if they don’t know the answer. “Me! Me!” they shout until they get the teacher’s attention.

They love it when they do well in exams and they’ll let the rest of the class know all about it, saying things like, “hey! Look what I got in the history exam”, or “didn’t you pass? I did”. Know-it-alls want to be prime ministers when they’re older.

The Class Weirdo

The class weirdo is the quiet student who sits at the back of the class and never says a word. Class weirdoes spend their time in class doodling and writing “I hate life” all over their books. Out of school, they enjoy smoking, shopliftingand cruelty to animals. They frequently skive off.They hate their parents and the only time they talk to them is to ask for money. Class weirdoes want to burn the school down.

According to statistics, about 10% of British children suffer from mental disorders such as anxiety, depression, obsessions, and paranoia. This explains why there are so many weirdoes in British schools.

The Teacher’s Pet

The teacher’s pet is the one who loves to help the teacher. They sit in the front of the class and are always asking if there’s anything they can do. They love to hear the teacher say “good boy” or “good girl”. They will quite happily snitchon their classmates when someone has been naughty.

Out of class they spend their time drawing pictures and writing letters to the teacher. When they are older, teacher’s pets want to be teachers.