Formal/politeness language

Take a look at the language I have highlighted in blue and then read my notes below. A lot of this language you can borrow for your own letters.

Dear Mr Jones

I am writing to ask whether it is possible to change my course. I am currently studying on a general English programme and I would like to enrol on an academic IELTS course instead.

The principle reason why I would like to change my course is that I do not believe the general English course is relevant to me because it is intended for students who wish to improve their social English. My circumstances are that I require a band 7.0 in order to be accepted on the masters programme at Aston University. Unless I obtain this score by the beginning of the next academic year, I will lose my place on the course and will need to return to my country. This being the case, I believe that it is essential that I get tuition in academic writing and IELTS skills.

I understand that it may be difficult to change my course mid-semester, but this is an urgent priority for me. If it would help, I would be delighted to discuss this with you in person.

Yours sincerely

Khaled Abdullah

Notes

I am writing to - this is a standard formula you can use to start most more formal letters: it shows why you are writing

I would like to - this is a “politeness” phrase”. Be very careful about using “I want” in English as it can be too direct/rude in more formal writing

The principle reason why I would like to - This is a more formal way of saying “I want to do this because”

I do not believe - Note how in this letter I do not use short forms like “don’t”. This is normal in more formal letters.

in order to be accepted - This is a more formal way of saying “To get on”

Unless I obtain this score - One word you should try and avoid using too much in more formal writing is “get”. Here in a less formal letter I might write “If I don’t get this score”

I believe that it is essential - Another word that you should be careful about using in more formal/polite letters is “must”. It can be a very strong word in English and used wrongly quite rude. Here I use “it is essential” instead.

I understand that it may be difficult - One tip here is to think about the person you are writing to. It is probably the case that the course director may not want to change your course. One way to persuade him/her is to say you know that it is a big favour you’re asking.

If it would help, I would be delighted to discuss this with you in person - this is a nice phrase you can borrow and use in other formal letters.