Original

The main advantages of these techniques are a minimum or absent sample pre-treatment and a quick response; in fact due to the relative difficulty in the interpretation of the obtained mass spectra, the use of multivariate analysis by principal component analysis, and complete-linkage cluster analysis of mass spectral data, that is to say the relative abundance of peaks, was used as a tool for rapid comparison, differentiation, and classification of the samples.

The original version would be difficult to understand even if it were in a manuscript. The audience would find it hard to assimilate so much information at a single time. And for the presenter, it would be hard to breathe while saying such a long sentence (74 words!) without a pause. The solution is to

● split the sentence up into very short chunks (12 words maximum) that are easy for you to say and easy for the audience to understand

● use more verbs (the original contains only four verbs but around 20 nouns)

● use the active form and personal pronouns

Let’s see the result:

There are two main advantages to these techniques. First, the sample needs very little or no pre-treatment. Second, you get a quick response. Mass spectra are really hard to interpret. So we decided to use two types of analysis: principal component and complete-linkage cluster. We did the analysis on the relative abundance of peaks. All this meant that we could compare, differentiate, and classify the samples.

■ And now your task is to rephrase the following texts making them easier and using the advice given above.

A) Computer science is considered by some to have a much closer relationship with mathematics than many scientific disciplines, with some observers saying that computing is a mathematical science. Early computer science was strongly influenced by the work of mathematicians such as Kurt Gödel and Alan Turing, and there continues to be a useful interchange of ideas between the two fields in areas such as mathematical logic, category theory, domain theory, and algebra.

The relationship between computer science and software engineering is a contentious issue, which is further muddied by disputes over what the term “software engineering” means, and how computer science is defined. David Parnas, taking a cue from the relationship between other engineering and science disciplines, has claimed that the principal focus of computer science is studying the properties of computation in general, while the principal focus of software engineering is the design of specific computations to achieve practical goals, making the two separate but complementary disciplines.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computer_science)

B) Man’s relation with his natural environment is a complex one. While he is subject to certain natural controls and events, he also acts as the dominant force in many of the Earth’s physical and biological systems. The relationship has changed with time. For thousands of years, the direction and extent of his progress were to a considerable measure dictated by his physical environment, which sometimes presented him with very difficult obstacles. Increasingly, man has become capable of altering his physical environment to suit himself. Although the object of these alterations was to improve his living conditions, in some cases they have created major long-term problems, and in still others they have been catastrophic, both for the natural environment and himself.

(Bryant, Richard H.. Physical Geography Made Simple, Oxford, 1993.)

3.11. Study the information taken from R.R. Jordan. Academic Writing Course carefully and be ready to use it in the exercises below.

Direct quotations and references to authors’ writings are often included in reports, dissertations and theses. Their purpose is to demonstrate support for your own ideas, points of view and findings, and perhaps to show examples or evidence. It is important to acknowledge the source of the quotations otherwise you may be accused of plagiarism.

The conventions are the following:

A) When referring to a book or article, the normal procedure is to give the author’s surname, the year of publication in brackets, and the page numbers if necessary. The full reference is then given at the end of the text (bibliography).

There are two basic ways of using quotations.

1. Quotation marks (inverted commas) are put around the author’s actual words, which are then incorporated in the text: this is often used for short quotations, e.g. Academic writers need to be cautious in their claims. In this respect, vague language is important as ‘it allows claims to be made with due caution, modesty, and humility’ (Hyland, 1994: 241)

2. The quotation is indented (it starts further from the margin than the other lines, and it may be in a different type size or style; the quotation marks are usually omitted): this is normally used for longer quotations (three or more lines), e.g.

Jordan (1977: 240) also draws attention to the necessity for being careful:

A feature of academic writing is the need to be cautious in one’s claims and statements. In other words, you may indicate your certainty and commitment in varying degrees.

This may be done in various ways …

B) 1. When you incorporate quotations in writing you should remember that the main uses of quotations are as follows:

● Support for an argument or point of view. As X has observed ‘…’

● Exemplification of the point being made. Thus, for example, ‘…’

● Introduction of a point or viewpoint etc. According to X, ‘…’

● Conclusion of a discussion, analysis, etc. Therefore X concludes: ‘…’

● Explanation of a point, item, etc. X explains it as follows: ‘…’

2. There are many verbs and phrases that can be used to introduce quotations in writing. Some of the main structures are as follows:

● As X observed / pointed out/ suggested / noted / indicated ^‘…’

● According to X, ‘…’

● For example, X argued that ‘…’

● X suggests that ‘…’

● The need for it is widely recognised: ‘…’

● Writing in 1979, X commented that ‘…’

● To quote X: ‘…’

● Recent research by X shows that ‘…’

C) References and bibliographies

References, at the end of an essay, for example, are arranged in a strict alphabetical order of the author’s surname or the name of the organisation. If more than one author has the same surname, they should appear in alphabetical order of the initial of the first name. If more than one reference is given by the same author, then the earlier dated reference will appear first. If two or more references by the same author appear in the same year, they will be labelled in sequence with letters (a, b, c, etc.) after the year. References to one author are normally listed before those of joint authorship of the same author.

There are differences between references to books and references to journals.

● Note the sequence of information commonly used in references to books: Author’s surname, initials, date (in brackets), title(underlined or in italics), place of publication, publisher. E.g.

Wallace, M.J. (1980). Study Skills in English. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press

● Note the sequence of information commonly used in references to articles in journals: Author’s surname, initials, date (in brackets), title of article, name of journal (underlined or in italics), volume number, issue number, sometimes season or month, sometimes page numbers. E.g.

West, R. (1994). Needs analysis in language teaching. Language Teaching, 27 (1): 1-19

Note: Volume and issue numbers may also be written: Vol. 27 no.1

D) Footnotes

A footnote is a note at the bottom (or foot) of a page in a book or journal: it is used to explain a word or other item, or to add some special information or a reference. Sometimes footnotes appear at the end of the paper, or even at the back of a book.

A small number is written above the word or item in the text. The explanation of the item is then given the same number. If there are two or more footnotes, then they are numbered in sequence 1, 2, 3, etc. If they appear at the foot of each page, the numbering starts again on each page. If they appear at the end of a dissertation, the numbering is continuous throughout the dissertation.

3.12. Read the following passage carefully. Notice the different ways in which the quotations are used and how they are acknowledged. Notice also how the references are listed at the end. Answer the questions.

● From how many different sources are direct quotations made?

● From how many different sources are paraphrases made?

● Which words and phrases help to introduce quotations and paraphrases in writing?