Exercise 2. Translate the texts

ADDITIONAL EXERCISES

Exercise 1. Translate the texts. Медицинский юмор

“The doctor said he would have me on my feet in a week.”
“And did he keep his word?”
“Sure, I've had to sell my car to pay for the treatment.”

1
“Oh, doctor,” said a pompous rich man, certainly I have sent for you; still, I must confess that I have not the slightest faith in modern medical science.”
“Well, that does not matter in the least. You see, an ass / a donkey has no faith in the veterinary, and yet the vet cures the animal all the same.”
3
A physician was sent for by a rich man with a bad temper.
“Well, sir, what's the matter?” the doctor asked.
“That, sir,” said the patient crossly, “is for you to find out.”
“I see,” said the physician thoughtfully. “Well, if you excuse me for half an hour I'll go and get a friend of mine - a veterinary. He is the only man I know who can make a diagnosis without asking questions.”
4

A woman comes to the vet saying, "Doctor, I think there's something wrong with my dog. He hasn't moved all day."
The vet examines the dog and says, "I'm afraid your dog is dead."
"Dead! How can he be dead? He was just fine yesterday. Are you sure he's dead? Isn't there some other test you can run?"
The vet leaves and returns in a moment with a pet-carrying case. He opens the case and a large cat emerges. The cat plods over to the dog and sniffs around its head. It then circles the dog, sniffing and poking around. After a minute or two the cat returns to its cage.
"Well," says the vet, "that pretty much proves it. He's dead."
"I guess you're right," says the woman. She is coming to grips with what happened. "At least you did your best. How much do I owe you?"
"$230."
"$230?! For what? All you did was tell me my dog was dead. What did you do that costs $230?"
"It's $30 for the office visit," explains the vet, "and $200 for the cat scan."

Consulting a Doctor.

Doctor: Well, what’s the matter with you, Mr. Walker?
Patient: You’d better ask me what is not the matter with me, doctor. I seem to be suffering from all the illness imaginable: insomnia, headache, backache, indigestion, constipation and pains in the stomach. To make things still worse, I’ve caught a cold, I’ve got a sore throat, and I’m constantly sneezing and coughing. To crown it all, I had an accident the other day, hurt my right shoulder, leg and knee, and nearly broke my neck. If I take a long walk, I get short of breath. In fact, I feel more dead than alive.
Doctor: I’m sorry to hear that. Anyhow, I hope things aren’t as bad as you imagine. Let me examine you. Your heart, chest and lungs seem to be all right. Now open your mouth and show me you tongue. Now breathe in deeply through the nose… There doesn’t seem to be anything radically wrong with you, but it’s quite clear that you’re run down, and if you don’t take care of yourself, you may have a nervous breakdown and have to go to hospital. I advise you, first of all, to stop worrying. Take a long rest, have regular meals, keep to a diet of salads and fruit, and very little meat. Keep off alcohol. If possible, give up smoking, at least for a time. Have this tonic made up and take two tablespoonfuls three times a day before meals. If you do this, I can promise you full recovery within two or three months.
Patient: And if I don’t, doctor?
Doctor: Then you’d better make your will, if you haven’t yet done so!
Patient: I see. Well, thank you, doctor. I shall have to think it over and decide which is the lesser evil – to follow your advice or prepare for a better world!

Harry is ill.

Harry: Nora! Nora!
Nora: (coming into the room) Yes, what is it now, Harry?
Harry: Oh, there you are. Look here, Nora, I’m tired of lying here on my back with nothing to do. I hate doing nothing.
Nora: Don’t be silly, Harry. You’re got a temperature, and staying in bed is the only sensible thing to do. Now just be quite, and stop preventing me from doing my housework.
Harry: No, seriously, Nora. I can’t bear it. Lying flat on my back!
Nora: Well then, try lying on your stomach for a change!
Harry: Stop being funny. I’m going to get up. There! Look, I’m standing up, I’m quite all right. What’s the use of standing in bed?
Nora: I think you’re being very silly. You’ll only make your temperature go up again.
Harry: It’s no use talking, Nora – being ill doesn’t suit me.
Nora: No – and trying to nurse you doesn’t suit me!
Harry: Now don’t be bitter about it. You know I’m grateful to you for looking after me. But you mustn’t try to keep me in bed like a naughty boy.
Nora: Well, you began it, by behaving like a naughty boy!
Harry: I’m all against this staying in bed for no reason.
Nora: Harry, being ill is a reason… Now don’t stand by that window and catch another cold… Let me see, half past eleven.
Harry: Why do you keep looking at the clock?
Nora: I’m expecting Mother – she’s coming over for the day.
Harry: Good heavens, I didn’t know that.
Nora: Yes, I think she has something she wants to talk to you about.
Harry: Oh heavens! Has she? (groans) Oh… You know, Nora, I do feel a bit ill; perhaps I’d better get back to bed.
Nora: Oh, what a pity! I thought perhaps you might stay up to see her.
Harry: (to himself) That’s the very reason I’m getting back into bed!
Nora: What did you stay?
Harry: Oh, er-nothing.

Exercise 2. Translate the texts

At the Doctor’s

If we caught cold, have a splitting headache, have a clogged nose, cough, are running high temperature, we must go to the policlinic. First we come to the registry. The registry clerk on a duty asks our name, address, age and occupation. He writes out some slips because several specialists will examine us. Some of them will listen to your heart and lungs, some will check up our kidneys, liver, stomach, eyesight, and hearing. The others will make our blood analysis, take our blood pressure and x-ray us.

Our district doctor sees his patients in consulting room 4. A nurse gives us a thermometer to take our temperature. We must keep it under an armpit. Last time my temperature was 37,9. The doctor asked what my trouble was. He offered to sit down in a chair and to strip to the waist. He felt my pulse. It was faint and accelerated. Then I lay on the examination couch and the doctor palpated my abdomen. He asked me from what disease I suffered in my childhood. I suffered from scarlet fever.Now I felt dizzy and was damp with sweat. The doctor filled in my card and diagnosed the case as the flu.

When he wrote out a prescription for some medicines: pills, powder, drops, and mixture. He also advised me to take a scalding footbath, to put a hot water bottle to my feet, to have hot tea with raspberry jam. That would keep my fever down. The result of my x-ray examination and blood analysis was normal. I had the prescription made at the chemist’s. I followed the prescribed treatment to avoid complications. Every day I took a tablespoonful of mixture 3 times a day and some pills. In two days I was better and in a week I recovered from my illness. I began to take care of myself. Now I go in for sports because sports make me strong, healthy and cheerful. Every day I do my morning exercises and have a cold rubdown to prevent myself from catching cold. There is a good proverb: An apple a day keeps doctor away. That’s why I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables.

In case of sudden and severe illness or an accident calls are made to the first aid station. There the doctors are on duty all day long. There are many ambulances there. The ambulances are equipped with everything necessary to give the first aid. The patient is transported to hospital. There he is taken to the reception ward first. After questioning and examination the doctor fills in the patient’s case history. Then a patient is given special clothes and is put to some ward for treatment. The doctors make their daily round there. They examine patients and prescribe different medicines and treatments.

When a patient is completely cured, he is discharged from the hospital. There are different departments in the hospital. They are: a surgical department, therapy, and the department of infectious diseases.