2017-11-01
979
Matt feels confused. He has a good-paying job as a technical writer in a high-tech company, but he is not sure that this is what he really wants to do. He is quite good at writing the texts for his company’s electronic instruments: booklets, manuals, maintenance instructions, reference material. But after work he often asks himself whether he is not wasting his time.
He decides to consult with an acquaintance, Linda. Linda is a philosopher. She is not exactly a friend, but he knows that with her he is welcome to come to speak about his predicaments. In a way, she is his philo-sophical mentor.
“Sometimes,” he tells her, “I feel that I am living a life that is not mine. At work I talk with the engineers, I learn how the system works, I write the text and send it back for comments. Everybody says I am doing an excellent job. But… I don’t know… In the back of mind I feel that all this high-tech business – that’s not me.”
“So why don’t you quit, Matt, and do something you really want to do?”
“In fact, sometimes I think of quitting. I feel I want to change my life, to live differently. I fantasize about becoming a journalist, or a gardener, or… who knows? But these are just fantasies. I don’t really know what I want to do.”
“No clue?”
“No,” Matt replies. “I just want to be true to myself. At work I pretend that I am enthusiastic, that I enjoy the challenges of the job. But I am only pretending. Deep inside I don’t really care. It’s not coming from my heart. Do you think I am betraying myself?”
“Betraying yourself… An interesting expression. Who is this ‘myself’ that you are betraying?”
Matt deliberates. “I don’t know. But I feel that I am not myself. I am a fake.”
“Very interesting. You are telling me that there are two Matts inside you: a true Matt and a fake Matt.” Linda waits until Matt nods in agreement, and then continues, “If so, then the question is: Who is this ‘true’ Matt?”
Matt remains silent for a while. “Yes,” he finally says. “You are right. That’s exactly the question: Which part of me is the ‘real me’? And what does this ‘real me’ want?”
As a philosopher, Linda knows that Matt is asking a familiar philosophical question: What does it mean to be true to myself, or authentic? Rousseau, the 18th century philosopher, was among the first to discuss this issue.
She gives Matt a few pages from Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s book EMILE. “Here, take this home and read it. Contemplate on it, listen to what it says to you, and listen to how you respond to it.”
“How do I listen? How do I contemplate”
“Just relax and read it slowly, quietly. Read one or two paragraph every day. Keep them in your mind throughout the day, and let them work inside you.” Then she adds, “But first let me tell you a bit about Rousseau. It is better to contemplate on a text that you already understand.”
