2015-09-06
311
LarryScott has been coming voluntarily to meetings at Erne a Framingham, Massachusetts, counselling group for men who batter, ever since he punched his pregnant wife. Most of the other men were ordered there by judges.
Although only a few of the say their mother was abused, many of the men were beaten as children. For them, resolving problems with violence became a family tradition. Scott hopes that lei sons learned here will help when tensions flare at home.
«They see themselves as the victims», says David Adams. «They sincerely believe that she's the one with the problem».
That attitude is hard to shake. Of the more than 5,000 men who have been treated by Emerge, less than 25 percent have abstained from physical and psychological abuse long-term. Advocates still believe counselling can have a powerful impact - if not on the men, then on the women they hurt. «Once an abused woman sees he's had a chance and hasn't taken advantage of it, she can walk away without feeling that it's a failure on her part», explains Adams.
(Alexis Fetter, a freelance writer living in Vermont)
1. Find out in the story the proof of the following statements:
1. Women see themselves as victims and think they are alone with the problems.
2. Domestic violence may lead to a tragedy.
3. Men's protectiveness may mask coercive control and violence.
4. Love urges women to make up excuses.
5. Pregnant women are battered in 25 percent out of 100.
6. Batterers use their status and power over the victims to avoid detection.
7. The children know their mothers are being abused.
8. Most abused wives are economically dependent on their husbands.
9. Keeping domestic violence in secret is dangerous.
2. Now think about and discuss the following questions and statements:
1. Violence often becomes a family tradition if men are beaten as children.
2. Do you see any difference between physical and psychological abuse?
3. Courts, police, doctors - how much are they effective in helping women find out their way out of dangerous relationship?
4. Do you see any defense against domestic violence in friends, family and society?
5. What would you do if trouble started to brew in your own family? How long could you continue to tolerate violence?
6. Do you think a would-be violent husband is always guessed in a protective bridegroom?
7. Do you agree it's emotional dependency on her batterer that is a trapping for a woman?
8. Do you know any examples of the double life of batterers?
