Voices 6: Voices of transcending

What is the other person for me? What does it mean to be authentic? What is true freedom? What is a meaningful moment? In everyday language we use these concepts quite often, but it is precisely because of this that we neglect to think about them, and usually find it hard to fully understanding their meaning. Presumably, freedom is freedom, the other person is the other person, what more is there to say?

But there is much to say. Throughout the long history of philosophy, many thinkers have written about these concepts and have suggested deep analyses of their meaning. Their approaches are different from each other, and so they form a broad spectrum of perspectives. Each approach sheds light on a different aspect of our lives, and together they create a rich symphony of the diverse facets of human reality. We could say that each of those theories expresses a specific meaning, a single ‘voice’ in the human symphony, a voice that touches us and speaks through us in our everyday life.

For philosophical practice, and philosophical counseling in particular, these ‘voices’ are of great importance, because they can help us examine ourselves, and can shed light on the meanings that speak in our lives. It is difficult for an individual to formulate, out of nothing, the meaning he finds in the concept of freedom, of authenticity, etc. It is easier to use approaches developed by other thinkers as raw materials and sources of inspiration for developing self-understanding.

In this series we will examine a number of everyday concepts – the concept of the other person, authenticity, freedom, meaning, the good and the bad, transcending – as well as several approaches to these concepts – or ‘voices’ – which have been developed by prominent philosophers. We will also explore how philosophical practice can use these ‘voices’ for self-examination.

Voices of Human Reality

Voices 1: VOICES OF THE ‘OTHER’

Philosophical practice helps us examine ourselves and our way of life. When we do this, we realize that in everyday life we constantly encounter basic life-issues: Who am I? What is the other person for me? What is important in life? What does it mean to be free? and so on. The goal of philosophical self-examination is to help us understand how we relate to ourselves and our world, in other words the way we respond to the basic issues of life. This is illustrated in the following example.

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Donna is not a philosopher, but she has her own way of understanding life. Specifically, she has her own way of understanding the meaning of the ‘Other’. This ‘worldview’ shapes her behavior, expectations, hopes and emotions. In many ways it is the ‘cave’ in which she is imprisoned.

"Yes, I am lonely," Donna says. "I like being by myself, otherwise I would lose touch with myself. But I would also like to have a good friend, someone I could really trust. I am already 35 years old, and I know myself very well: I am still hoping to find somebody I could share my feelings with. But I’ve experienced too many disappointments."

Donna has a childhood memory of her grandfather, from a time she was about four years old. She remembers it very clearly: Her grandfather suddenly yelling at her. How strange that Donna should remember this particular moment. Her grandfather had always been so sweet to her, never raising his voice. That was the only time he got angry.

Donna once had a boyfriend, some six years ago. He was a shy and quiet man, and they got along very well. But then he was killed in a car accident. It was a very hard time for her. She felt that he had abandoned her. In fact, she felt angry at him for leaving her. Rationally she knew that this anger made no sense, but nevertheless she felt it quite strongly.

Fortunately, a few weeks later she met another lonely woman, Peggy, and the two became friends. But then Peggy found a boyfriend. "She would disappear for four-five days,” Donna says bitterly, "so I understood that she didn’t really care about me. She had been with me just to exploit me and my emotions."

Eventually Donna opened a training school for dogs. "Animals are easier to get along with," she says. "They never surprise you. If you are friendly with them, they are faithful to you. People, on the other hand, are too complicated."

Indeed, when she sees somebody mistreating or mishandling a dog, she can barely control herself. Not long ago she saw a young woman dragging her dog behind her like a suitcase. Donna exploded. Luckily, a neighbor stopped her from attacking the woman.

"This woman is a monster," she said to the neighbor.

The neighbor tried to calm her down. "She simply doesn’t know how to handle dogs," he suggested.

"If she isn’t a monster," Donna replied, "then she is mentally disturbed."

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Donna has never put in writing her ‘theory’ about the meaning of the Other, although her life expresses it almost every day. One way to start exploring her ‘theory’ is to look at philosophers who wrote about their conceptions of the Other.