2015-07-21
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Weird trophies abound in this sporting sphere. They include a telephone and a milk can.
Some of the trophies look like they were thought of after a wee session down at the local.
Others, such as a wagon wheel and 10-gallon hat, are straight out of American lore. Only in America.
Up until 1943, Wisconsin and Minnesota University rivals played for a little slab of wood that represented a piece of bacon. This slice of history was lost and replaced by famous lumberjack Paul Bunyan's giant axe after World War II.
Shed no tears, however, because the bit of false bacon miraculously turned up in a Wisconsin University storeroom in 1994 and in a remarkably good condition.
Wisconsin ain't about to let go of it either. Their coach at the time said: "We took home the bacon and kept it." Which sounds from this distance like a fairly belligerent confession.
Footnote: Paul Bunyan is a mythical figure, surprise, surprise.
The Ashes - great balls of fire
The urn and its contents rank as the tiny tot of world sports trophies at 150mm high, and is probably the most famous and enigmatic of them all.
Indeed, during test cricket's darkest moments, what was a mock obituary to the English team has helped keep the game alive.
Australia and England battle gloriously (usually) in the name of this vessel and its charred remains within every couple of years.
The obituary appeared in a sports newspaper in the late 1800s after England snatched defeat from the jaws of victory against Australia at The Oval.
The English captain swore he would regain the "ashes" in Australia, and the famous urn was presented to an English side by a group of Melbourne women.
Its contents are probably a burnt cricket ball.
The actual urn lives at the Lord's ground in London, and replicas are presented to the series winners.
Maybe the most truly, incredible, remarkable thing about The Ashes is that England have won them twice in the past four years.
Footnote: After digesting the initial shock of defeat, the Victorian era crowd at The Oval carried two of the Aussie bowlers from the field. Magnificent. Warnie never got that sort of ride.
Classic golf trophy - getting rub of the green
The Dubai Desert, this is an Aladdin's lamp sort of thing, although a heck of a lot bigger.
It is definitely not a trophy to go waving over your head in triumph because the giant pourer could easily take an eye out.
You might have difficulty drinking champagne out of it as well without dislodging a couple of teeth belonging to someone on an adjacent fairway.
