Chapter 5: Where I Belong

Mental Preparation

Woman: Ah! It’s IDOLiSH7’s Yamato-san! I always watch your shows!
Nikaidou Yamato: Ah…. Thanks.
Woman: You’re filming a movie with Yuki-san, right? The two of you look so cool as a duo! I can’t wait to see it!
Woman: But I like you and Mitsuki-kun as the older brother duo the best! I hope you guys stay friends forever!
Nikaidou Yamato: Haha…. Thanks. See ya….

Izumi Iori: I’ll be leaving now, Nii-san.
Izumi Mitsuki: School, huh? Have a safe trip.
Izumi Iori: ……What are you looking at?
Izumi Mitsuki: Ah…. Just social media. I usually don’t look at those sites all that much.
Izumi Mitsuki: Our fans are really amazing…. They’re talking about how Yamato-san and I never looked each other in the eye during this past broadcast.
Izumi Iori: ……There’s no need to mind their critical comments.
Izumi Mitsuki: I don’t see them as critical. I just couldn’t help but think, “Damn, they saw right through us.” Even though these people have never met us before….
Izumi Mitsuki: They’ve come to love us, so they’ll keep on following our activities. They look forward to seeing us be friendly with each other.
Izumi Mitsuki: Even though it’s something they look forward to, I can’t help but think that we’ve been kinda dishonest about that….
Izumi Iori: That’s not true at all. You’re just doing your best, Nii-san.
Izumi Mitsuki: Was it really my best, though…. Ah, sorry for holding you back. You better get moving.
Izumi Iori: I will. I’ll be on my way now.
*slam*
Izumi Mitsuki: …….
*beep*
Izumi Mitsuki: Yamato-san’s not picking up…….
Izumi Mitsuki: Maybe I should back down and try to reconcile for Yamato-san for the sake of the fans…….
Izumi Mitsuki: …….But I don’t want that. I don’t want what’s between us to be nothing more than ‘moderate’ for the rest of my life.
Izumi Mitsuki: I know that if I give in now…. You’ll just feel relieved and think, 'This guy’s just like the rest of them.’ Isn’t that right?

Izumi Iori: ……. I’m skipping school for the first time in my life.
Izumi Iori: It’s because I can’t collect data with Nii-san around…. I just hope Yotsuba-san’s explanation will line up with mine.
Izumi Iori: ……The reactions to our last broadcast aren’t bad. Average viewership wasn’t significantly different, but the live turnout was fairly good. (1)
Izumi Iori: Additionally, the frequency of Nanase-san’s name appearing on social media websites has increased….
High School Girl: Hey, did you watch the last episode of “A Lovely Night with IDOLiSH7!” It was super interesting! I kinda wish I was in concert band now….
High School Girl: I saw, I saw! I wanna try playing the trombone!
Izumi Iori: ……That’s the instrument Nanase-san is in charge of. Perhaps this is a coincidence…….
Izumi Iori: ……But why? Nanase-san’s playing was neither good nor bad.
Izumi Iori: There weren’t even any incidents that brought him to the center of attention either.
Salaryman: Huh? You’re gonna start taking classes?
Salaryman: I used to play, a long time ago. After watching them, I just felt like playing again. How about giving brass band a try, senpai?
Izumi Iori: What in the world is happening? …….Indeed, this is a very fortunate string of events, but….
Izumi Iori: I’ve been able to understand everything until now. ……Something feels…. Sickening…….

Staff: We’ve managed to hide them somehow, Yuki-san, but what in the world were those marks around your neck….
Yuki: I’d like to think I’m doing alright, pretty happy too. I’m an honest man, one you can believe. And yet….
Yuki: Before I realized, my voice was gone and something was constricting my neck. Life sure is hard….
Staff: Haa …….
Yuki: It’s awfully hot today, isn’t it?
Nikaidou Yamato: …….
Nikaidou Yamato: ……I have notifs from Mitsu and Momo-san….
Nikaidou Yamato: I should contact Mitsu– No……. I’ll contact Momo-san first…. He can give me advice….
Nikaidou Yamato: ……. It’s really hot today, just like that summer day….
Yuki: What is this summer day you’re referring to? You mentioned it yesterday too.

Nikaidou Yamato: ……. It was the day you came over to wash his car.
Nikaidou Yamato: When I first saw you, I was really surprised that men like you existed….
Nikaidou Yamato: But I was kinda repulsed that even a man like you was sucking up to my dad. That you respected someone like him….
Nikaidou Yamato: That’s why I laughed at you. I think I said, “I can’t believe one measly call from my dad is all it takes for you to wash his car.” ……Do you remember that?
Yuki: Very faintly……?
Nikaidou Yamato: …….The cicadas were screeching. You were drenched in sweat, and your face was flushed red. Your shirt was soaked through too…. It was just so…. How should I put it…. I thought you looked lame as hell.
Nikaidou Yamato: In spite of that, you told me this with a cold expression on your face:
Nikaidou Yamato: “He gives me pocket change in exchange for washing his car. I can buy some good meat for my partner with that money.”
Yuki: Haha…. We were pretty broke back then.
Nikaidou Yamato: ……. Lately, I…. I feel ashamed that I laughed at you back then……
Yuki: …….
Nikaidou Yamato: I was really, really jealous that you were able to work so hard for someone…. I wanted to give it my all for someone too….
Nikaidou Yamato: I’ve kept everyone at an arm’s distance away. I became an idol on a whim, like I was taking out my anger on something….
Nikaidou Yamato: I’ve finally met people who give it their all. All of them dream of being an idol, do their best, and depend on me…. But even so….
Nikaidou Yamato: ……I can’t. I can’t tell them that I dragged all of them into this and then messed everything up just because I wanted to trouble my dad….
Nikaidou Yamato: That’s just inexcusable…. They won’t be able to trust me anymore after that, or want to see me ever again…. I…. I’m scared of telling them….
Nikaidou Yamato: So I pretended to be a good person instead of telling them. I was kind to them, listened to their troubles…. ……I’m the absolute worst, a complete fraud…. (2)
Nikaidou Yamato: ……I’m downright terrified of telling them about what I’m really like…….
Yuki: ……. You’re finally being honest.
Yuki: Give me your phone.
Nikaidou Yamato: Huh……?
Yuki: Go call your members.
Nikaidou Yamato: ……Right now? Right here?
Yuki: Of course. Timing is crucial.
Nikaidou Yamato: ……Yeah…. But…….
Yuki: Aren’t you doing that right now, Yamato-kun? That 'giving it your all’ thing you’ve always wanted to do.
Nikaidou Yamato: …….
Yuki: Yamato-kun is clumsily holding out his phone to me, his hand trembling, even though he hates dealing with me. He’s trying his hardest, for the sake of his friends.
Yuki: All you needed was courage. You’ve come a long way.
Nikaidou Yamato: ……Yuki-san…….
Yuki: Your feelings will get through to those boys. It’s not impossible. They’re all waiting for your return. Go appease those fears.
Yuki: Call them, and tell them you’re going back tomorrow. Just that is fine.
Nikaidou Yamato: ……. …I’m so nervous…….
Yuki: It’ll be okay.
Nikaidou Yamato: …….
Nikaidou Yamato: ……. I…….
Nikaidou Yamato: ……Hello, Mitsu? Um……. It’s me…….
Nikaidou Yamato: ……I’m heading back tomorrow…. So you guys should come back too…….

To be continued….

TL Notes/comments:

THANK U @kuriiii 4 BETAING ME FRM 3 HRS INTO THE PAST!!!

just relocated to the east coast 4 the summer and started an internship this week, so my life is still a mess!!! I’m trying to get into the swing of things so I can finally work on tling pt3 again bc i dont want another installment to get released before I’m done!!!!!

ANYWAYS, starting off with the title. The literal is ‘heart’s preparation,’ like preparing your heart for a Big Thing or something, etc. Also seen fairly often in the context of ‘my heart’s not ready yet!!’ tl;dr just know that mental preparation is p close, but there’s also an emotional/heart-y aspect to it.

(1) BOY I AM NOT WELL VERSED IN TV VIEWER RATING JARGON, correct me if I’m wrong on this stuff man
(2) 偽善者 can mean hypocrite (most common connotation) or 'wolf’s in sheep’s clothing’ and the latter is clearly the definition being invoked here!

As usual, if you see any mistakes/mistranslations/etc, please message me!

Thank you for reading!!